January 18, 2015

Love Me Tinder

Love me tender
Love me true, 
Tell me that you're mine. 
I'll be yours through all the years,
Till the end of time.

Oh, Elvis. You make my heart skip a beat. You have such a way with words. You make me feel so good. And tinder, you do the same thing. What am I thinking? 

Tinder, another way to meet someone. It's pretty simple really; swipe left if you don't think they're attractive and right if you think they're so good looking that you'd want to populate the earth with them. Did I take that too far? Maybe. But you get the point. It's a little superficial but I'm addicted. I can't stop myself from logging in every hour to check my "matches" or conversations. 

The first time you match with someone, what happens next is always a little exciting. The guy you thought was so cute has made contact. He says something funny or witty, or tells you your dimples melt his heart. Of course, with a compliment like that I'm totally sold. I try to charm them by being my funny self (and with my dimples obviously) and next thing I know I'm messaging my phone number to basically a stranger, to see if this is going to go anywhere. What am I thinking? 

The conversation now switches from in app messaging to texting and I'm thinking, man this guy is cute, funny and he's interested. The whole time I'm hoping this text fest ends up in him asking me out instead of becoming his texting buddy. He asks me if I have plans for the weekend. I do. But, he asks me to ditch them so I can do something with him. I think he's just asked me out on a date. Here's the catch: there is no plan -- no time, no place, no nothing.  Somehow those details got lost. He hasn't actually committed to doing anything. But somehow I've agreed to block out my afternoon for some guy that I don't really know. Meanwhile I don't hear back from him and I don't know what's going on.  But thank you Tinder Gods, I think I have three dates set up.

Tinder makes dating sound so easy. But the follow through with some of these guys is puzzling. How can you make plans with someone and then never contact them? Oh, we set a date up  and you went fishing instead and came back and texted me for a raincheck? Yeah, sure. Let me get out my receipt book with your letterhead. I had one guy text me a few days after a planned date asking me why we didn't go out. I said well... you never called me. I just think, duh! Come on! Or the guy that asks me rearrange my schedule so he can take me out, and then waits all day the day of the date to let me know what the plans are. Or the guy that cancels because he's going out of town, but doesn't make plans for another date. And when I actually have gone out with someone on a good date, I send him a PDT (post date text). It's my way of letting that person know that I had a good time and it's okay to ask me out again... but he never responds. 

I mean, I get it. I'm not everyones cup of tea and everyone isn't going to be my cup of tea. I also get that while you're telling me all these sweet nothings, emphasis on nothings, you're probably telling 20 other girls the same thing. It's also probably why you couldn't text me back to let me know what the plans were.  But where do these guys come from? Oh, I know. Tinder. Why am I expecting anything more out of these guys when I'm on a dating app that is solely based off physical attraction and the superficial. We all try to put the best image of ourself out there. But there's a difference between doing that and being fake. When these guys pretend to be someone other than who they are, it isn't long before his real self turns up. It gives me whiplash and now I need to be in a neck collar after going on one of those dates.

I feel like I'm living my own personal Groundhog Day, but not the funny Bill Murray type. Haven't I gone through this before? Haven't I gone on this date 50 million times? Why do I keep going on them? Why do I keep going on the same dates with the same type of guys? How do I stop the cycle?  I think it's the deceiving I like to hike pictures, or the fishing pictures, I like football, here I am studying at school. It all looks so cool but looks can be deceiving.  

This year I want to find someone who is going to love me tender, never let me go. The kind of stuff that Elvis sang about. But hold on, Shania Twain said it better yet,  "so what do you think you're Elvis or something... that don't impress me much." Same thing- Tarzan, Captain Kirk, John Wayne, Brad Pitt, that don't impress me much. What does impress me is kindness. Not sarcastic. Not narcissistic. Not a know it all. Just kind. Yeah, kind would impress me so much more than all that extra hold gel in your hair. 

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