Love Me Tinder

Love me tender, 

Love me true, 

Tell me that you're mine. 

I'll be yours through all the years,

Till the end of time.

Oh, Elvis. You make my heart skip a beat. You have such a way with words. You make me feel so good. And tinder, you do the same thing. What am I thinking? 

Tinder, another way to meet someone. It's pretty simple really; swipe left if you don't think they're attractive and right if you think they're so good looking that you'd want to populate the earth with them. Did I take that too far? Maybe. But you get the point. It's a little superficial but I'm addicted. I can't stop myself from logging in every hour to check my "matches" or conversations. 

The first time you match with someone, what happens next is always a little exciting. The guy you thought was so cute has made contact. He says something funny or witty, or tells you your dimples melt his heart. Of course, with a compliment like that I'm totally sold. I try to charm them by being my funny self (and with my dimples obviously) and next thing I know I'm messaging my phone number to basically a stranger, to see if this is going to go anywhere. What am I thinking? 

The conversation now switches from in app messaging to texting and I'm thinking, man this guy is cute, funny and he's interested. The whole time I'm hoping this text fest ends up in him asking me out instead of becoming his texting buddy. He asks me if I have plans for the weekend. I do. But, he asks me to ditch them so I can do something with him. I think he's just asked me out on a date. Here's the catch: there is no plan -- no time, no place, no nothing.  Somehow those details got lost. He hasn't actually committed to doing anything. But somehow I've agreed to block out my afternoon for some guy that I don't really know. Meanwhile I don't hear back from him and I don't know what's going on.  But thank you Tinder Gods, I think I have three dates set up.

Tinder makes dating sound so easy. But the follow through with some of these guys is puzzling. How can you make plans with someone and then never contact them? Oh, we set a date up  and you went fishing instead and came back and texted me for a raincheck? Yeah, sure. Let me get out my receipt book with your letterhead. I had one guy text me a few days after a planned date asking me why we didn't go out. I said well... you never called me. I just think, duh! Come on! Or the guy that asks me rearrange my schedule so he can take me out, and then waits all day the day of the date to let me know what the plans are. Or the guy that cancels because he's going out of town, but doesn't make plans for another date. And when I actually have gone out with someone on a good date, I send him a PDT (post date text). It's my way of letting that person know that I had a good time and it's okay to ask me out again... but he never responds. 

I mean, I get it. I'm not everyones cup of tea and everyone isn't going to be my cup of tea. I also get that while you're telling me all these sweet nothings, emphasis on nothings, you're probably telling 20 other girls the same thing. It's also probably why you couldn't text me back to let me know what the plans were.  But where do these guys come from? Oh, I know. Tinder. Why am I expecting anything more out of these guys when I'm on a dating app that is solely based off physical attraction and the superficial. We all try to put the best image of ourself out there. But there's a difference between doing that and being fake. When these guys pretend to be someone other than who they are, it isn't long before his real self turns up. It gives me whiplash and now I need to be in a neck collar after going on one of those dates.

I feel like I'm living my own personal Groundhog Day, but not the funny Bill Murray type. Haven't I gone through this before? Haven't I gone on this date 50 million times? Why do I keep going on them? Why do I keep going on the same dates with the same type of guys? How do I stop the cycle?  I think it's the deceiving I like to hike pictures, or the fishing pictures, I like football, here I am studying at school. It all looks so cool but looks can be deceiving.  

This year I want to find someone who is going to love me tender, never let me go. The kind of stuff that Elvis sang about. But hold on, Shania Twain said it better yet,  "so what do you think you're Elvis or something... that don't impress me much." Same thing- Tarzan, Captain Kirk, John Wayne, Brad Pitt, that don't impress me much. What does impress me is kindness. Not sarcastic. Not narcissistic. Not a know it all. Just kind. Yeah, kind would impress me so much more than all that extra hold gel in your hair. 

// a girl walks into a sushi bar…//

Not that this blog has reach world wide fame or anything, but last night I went out with a guy who knew about my dating blog. This is now the second guy who've I've gone out with who knew about it. The first guy who knew about it? That date was not so hot (read about it here).

To be honest, I was a little nervous to go out on a set up date. One of my friends set us up and I tend to not have a great track record when it comes to blind dates. I should probably contact the Lifetime Movie Network to see if they want to make a movie about my comical dating life that hopefully ends with me finding Mr. Wonderful. At least that ending is better then "and she lived by herself and 10 cats."

The date last night? Completely normal. How or why was it normal? Not sure. But I'm gonna give homie the credit there; HE was normal. He got to the sushi place before I did and ordered edemame for us before I got there. Homie joked about me blogging about how presumptuous it would be for him to order edemame. But… I actually like edemame. Win, win for both of us! I blogged about it and I enjoyed the apps before dinner. (If you don't know the reference to calling appetizers "apps" I'll link a video of it for you. Hilarious!) The date was short and sweet. The food and conversation were great.

Maybe my luck for first dates is changing? I don't know. But it was nice to go on a typically normal date last night. It's refreshing and I've decided that I should do that type of date more often and not the other kind. Although, the awful ones do make for better stories later. :)


And as promised… here is the video to the apps and zerts video from Parks and Rec. I love Tom
Haverford!!

// It's a Desert Out There //

So you know the saying, when it rains it pours?

What about when you're in a dry spell?

It's more than just a hot summer out in the west. It's like living in the Sahara Desert at it's hottest (which was 136 degrees fahrenheit).

So I pack my cooler full of reminders to keep myself ready for dry weather.

1. I AM happy by myself.

2. I AM actually trying to date.

3. I AM working on becoming a better person.

4. I surround myself with people I love. 

5. I WON'T settle for just anyone.

6. I'd rather be happily single than miserably married. 

And right now I'm going through a dry spell in the dating world- which is why I haven't blogged about dating in a while. 

But I haven't given up and I won't. 

//Mind Altering//

You know what is cool? An accent. I love them! People who come here from different countries and are able to retain their accent is super awesome. Do you know what isn't cool? Pretending that you're from a different country, putting on an accent and then letting the person know half way through a date that you aren't really from there...

Last night I went on a date with a guy who told me he was from Scotland. I'd heard him on the phone and his accent sounded legit. We decided to "meet up- which according to him is exactly one hour. I met him at Jamba Juice at 7:45. We ordered our drinks, he talked in his Scottish accent. Talked to me about his family overseas which sounded legit. I was doing all the talking. Meaning, I asked allt he questions and he answered. I asked about his scar on his arm; he didn't want to talk about it. The past is the past and I believe in leaving it there." That's true, I believe that too. But then he told me about how he got the scar... Running away from a police dog who was chaising him, jumped the fence, broke it in half, had to walk a mile and a half to a hospital because his own car was near where the policemen were. Awesome. Then I asked where he lived now and he told me and I said I had lived in Provo once (Raintree Apartments to be exact) and that I loved it, he said he felt sorry for me because it was BYU approved housing. I asked what he meant by that, and he said because of the rule and rules are meant to be broken. We had already talked baout his mission at this point in the conversation and I said, oh the mission must have been fun for you then. He said he didn't want to get into it. So, we didn't.

At this point, he started checking his phone and let me know that we had 20 minutes left in our meet up. He then told me he had something mind altering to tell me. I had no idea what it was going to be because what was so mind altering to let me know on a first meet up? Well, it was that he really wasn't from Scotland. That he just likes to do the accent because he's good at it. So, basically everything we had talked about was a BIG. Fat. Lie. Who does that? Other highlights of things I learned are the following:

• Girls are awful with money
• Dads baby their daughters
• I come from money
• I was in the popular group in highschool
• (The last two he said he could tell by my body language)
• That I can chew a piece of gum for a long time

Yes, this date was mind altering. It solidified the fact that dating really sucks about 90% of the time. And man, I can't wait to find someone who is normal.

//two out of three//

This is a blog post about how when it rains it pours. Maybe for some of my readers it's more like a sprinkle, but me, I basically doubled the dates I've been in two days than I have in three months. I know my posts about awful dates are much more entertaining than ones that actually go well, so I'll start with the almost bad one first.

I was supposed to go on 3 dates this week, people. THREE. I had planned them perfectly; Wednesday, Thursday and Friday. I worked Tuesday night until 4am and had to be back in Logan to work that same morning. The first date was set up through the stake. Our ward a few weeks ago in Relief Society, they sent around a blind date sign up and Bridget and I decided we were going to sign up for kicks and giggles. Plus, everyone else in RS was wiggin' out. I signed up knowing I wouldn't be able to go because I had work the night the mass blind date was going to happen. Dangit! :) Anyway, homie #1 called and asked me out, I had to decline. Then he kept asking me out and I was always busy. I finally set some time aside and we decided to go on Wednesday. The day of our date he texts me and wants to push the time for our date back further because he wanted to go to a BBQ at 6. So, I agreed. Finally around the time we were supposed to go he texted me to say he was still there and I just texted back and said, you know what? I'm tired, I worked late and had to be back in Logan early and for him to have fun at his BBQ. He texted back and said okay, we can reschedule if you want... Homie #1 did not get a text back. So, that was almost date numero uno.

I got set up through some friends with date number 2. And lets be success rate from blind dates when a friend sets me up isn't high. They're usually disatrous. You can find those dates here and here. I would try and tell you the connection of how I got set up, but it's kind of confusing. So, homie #2 came and got me on Thursday night and I immediately felt like I knew him. He's kind of like one of my really good friends in Logan, I felt like I knew him. He took me to Color Me Mine, which I have been dying to go to for a long time. I was pretty pumped! I made an awesome mug design and he made a mug that had the Jazz logo on one side and the Atlanta Braves logo on the other side.Then we went to the Porcupine Grill for dinner. It was awesome! If you haven't been there to eat, you need to. And he had me back home at a reasonable hour. Plus, he was really easy to talk to. It was the best date I've been on in a long time. And come on, you guys would have to agree with me. I didn't have to pay for myself, bring my own food, hear about how he only likes cheap dates... Win, win, win! I had a really good time.

Now, for my last date. I met this boy on Tinder. Don't judge me. You can find people on online dating type things. And for those of you that don't know what Tinder is, it's an app that anonymously finds out who likes you nearby,  and connects you with them if you're also interested. Tinder has been the best time waster ever. Plus, I get to show off how witty I am via text message. In real life I seem to not be able to come across as witty. Anyway, I had talked to homie #3 for about two weeks and decided to go out with him. He took me to Red Ginger- a sushi place and it was awesome! Then after that we went and got cheesecake from Cheesecake Factory and took it back to his place to eat. We were able to talk and get to know each other better on the date. He's really funny too, which I like. All in all, it was a really good date.

I'm liking what's going on in my dating life right now and if either of the boys I went on a date with asked me out again, I'd definitely say yes. So here is to hopin' for good things to come!

Timpanogas Date

So, seeing as I haven't been on a date since Christmas I had to get this take from my vault of weird dates I've been apart of. This date was with a boy that I had been on a few dates with. He said we were going to go on a hike with some of his friends and their girlfriends. He said we were going to hike Mt. Timpanogas. If you aren’t familiar with this hike there are two sides. The front side is nice and paved and leads to some caves. Then there’s the back side. A straight up hike from you know where. In my mind, I thought we were going to be doing the nice paved one, because that’s all I had ever done. So being the nice girl I am, I packed a little back pack of two water bottles and two granola bars; one for each of us. I was certain that would be enough until we got back down from the hike. Anyway, homeboy came to get me early the next morning and we drive to the place and that’s where I learned that we would be hiking the backside of Mt. Timpanogas. I had zero idea what I was getting myself into.

About 5 hours into the hike I was worn out. I had already had my water bottle and eaten my granola bar. The girls that had come along were babies. They stopped every five minutes because they were too tired. I was quickly becoming annoyed and just wanted to get to the top so I  just went on my own. And in another two hours I made it to the top. I waited for my guy to get to the top and we sat there for about 15 minutes and decided we weren’t waiting for anyone else and we got up and literally ran down the mountain. It took 3 hours to get down the hill running which brings us to a whopping 10 hours of hiking. Because my date was the one who drove everyone we had to wait for the rest of the group we had to wait in his car. And to add the cherry on top of this 10 hour ordeal, while we waited in his car the guy realized his tank was on empty so we couldn’t turn his car on for heat. By the time I got home I was frozen, hungry and grumpy. Needless to say, I haven’t done that hike since then.

Christmas Date

When you're single, your friends like to hook up with people. After the date I begin to question my friendship with said person- what did I do to make them not like me? What type of  young man do they think I'm interested in? And if it's THAT type, then I need to change it as soon as possible.

With that being said,  I went on a blind date over the Christmas break. My "friend" set us up. Here is the info my friend gave me prior to agreeing to the date: he's 27, graduated from the U in marketing, active in the church, really respectful, and witty. Sounds awesome, right? I thought so too.

We decided to go on a date. I hadn't gone to see the lights at temple square yet so he decided we'd go do that and then the rest would be surprise. Yay! I love surprises. The surprise that showed up at my door wasn't too bad. He's not exactly my type, but I can get over some things. In the car ride to the temple I was being my awesome self; funny, charming- those types of things.Things seemed to be going O-kay.

We got to the temple and were walking around the grounds when he starts pushing and shoving me. I didn't do it back. He asked why I wasn't "playing" back. Trying to be funny I said "I'm a lover not a fighter type.... Plus, I'm 24...." He continued to do that until we reached our hot chocolate destination. In the mean time, he's telling me about a crazy ex girlfriend he had. Cool. We order our hot chocolate and sit down in the little cafe and we're just chit chatting about his mission, his college experience, high school stuff, and dating. He tells me he never dated in high school and so he's a late bloomer and that he "never spends a lot of money on a first date because they don't usually go anywhere." And boom. I'd had it. I can take the obnoxious, over the top pushing type of flirting. I can handle hearing about a girl you used to date. But when you tell me that spending money on a date isn't worth it, what I hear is- you're not worth the money.

The date ended shortly after that and he drove me home. Where he kept trying to squeeze my knee because he thought it was funny and it was tickling me. I asked him to stop.

It was just a weird date. It wasn't bad, but weird. Who says or talks about those things on a first date? Get it together boys.

Somethings never get old...

Do you know what never gets old? My awful dating life.

I just realized that I hadn't blogged about one of my dates from the summer. And I have ample time this morning to fill you in on this story.

I went on a date with a boy from high school. He's a year older than me and we had physics together my junior year. I hadn't seen him since then either. He reconnected with on Facebook and Instagram and finally mustered up some courage and asked me out. I said yes. Homeboy asked if I wanted to ride on his motorcycle to our destination, and I've ridden on motorcycles before and loved it, so I said yes!

Here comes the first problem: HE had ME to drive to his house in order to ride the motorcycle. I said  I would (I also like an easy escape if things turn south). So I arrive at his house and he's workin' on the bike and trying to get some speaker system to work in the helmets. As an aside, before our actual date he asked me to bring ear buds, I thought he meant something to muffle the noise of the motorcycle, but this ain't my first rodeo so I didn't bring any. I was dressed all cute and had my hair done nicely, ready to have a fun night. Fun is not exactly what followed. What happened is this: he handed me a leather jacket (it's the middle of July and definitely at 95+ that day) and a helmet, which  I gladly wore. The jacket was for protection just in case we had any accidents. Umm, what? Yeah, accidents. So was the helmet, I guess. He then asks if I brought the ear buds and I said no, I didn't need them and he said yes you do they're for our speaker system in the helmets. He found an extra pair and plugged in our ear buds to the microphone type thing so we could test them out. It didn't work. Well, it did. But it was really muffled so I couldn't hear anything. He was trying to tell me the rules of riding. I couldn't understand a thing he was saying so I said I'm taking my helmet off so I can hear what you're telling me.

The rules of riding with him are:
1. Don't hold on to me.
2. Lean into the direction of the bike when turning.
3. When coming to a stop, squeeze your legs behind me so you don't ram me up the bike.
4. Don't make me ram into the middle of the bike.

Really crappy rules, huh? This kids bike is like the bullets bike younger brother who still hasn't figured anything out. Have you ever tried to ride with two people on a bullet bike on the freeway, not holding on, squeezing your legs? Just visualize that awful mess for a minute. Yeah, it's as bad as it sounds.

We get onto the freeway and he tries to make conversation with me through the helmet speaker things and I can't understand him. I'm trying so hard but I couldn't. So I told him that I couldn't understand and we ride all the way up to the natural history museum by the U in silence. The whole time I was thinking, shiz. What if we fall of this thing? I don't think I can do this. I'd grab onto him and he'd wiggle away from me. Or try and shake me off. It was weird.

We finally reach the museum and I take of the leather jacket and I'm sweating buckets. It's hot! I no longer look cute. My hair is a hot mess, I'm sopping wet, and now we have to try and make chit chat. At the museum he hands the ticket person his military ID, and says to me, yeah we went here because it's free for me. I'm thinking, wow. Awesome. So throughout the experience of the museum, I'd try and make light chit chat, but nothing. He wouldn't engage with me. He'd ask about Sarah or the fam and I'd start responding and he'd say, well, anyway....

Right before we headed home, he made two phone calls: one to his friend who had a birthday, one to his other group of friends saying he just was doing something right now but he'd be able to make the party at 9. Ugh! We get on the motorcycle, with no holding, and only leg squeezing allowed we get on the freeway. Right about now my anxiety sets in. What if we crash? We if I fall off the back? What's going to happen? I'm pretty sure he turned off our headset things so to keep myself distracted I started singing hymns and primary songs. It worked. We made it home. I say see ya later! And his response is, I hope I don't make the blog (he knew that I blog about bad dates). I was thinking, you're making it, don't worry.

Anyway, I don't hear from him for a few weeks. The next time I do, he asks if I had written on the blog yet. I said no. He then says, hey you know you're paralyzed friend, I think I have a crush on her. Could you set me up?

'nuff said, right?

I'm at the point where dates are becoming another thing for me to blog about. They're bad. They're funny. And everyone can enjoy my pain. But at least I made it out alive with this one. :)

I Shouldn't Date...

I always say this. I usually mean it. It just seems that every time I go on a date some catastrophe happens. I decided to go on a date this last weekend and just like clock work, something happened. We went to Utah Lake to have a nice time in a peddle boat. I went with a boy from high school, Jimmy Neville and two other kids from high school- Samuel Josie and Nicole Greaves. Nicole and I peddled the boat out to the buoys and then the boys decided they wanted a turn. That's when things started getting bad. The waves started getting more intense and the little peddle boat couldn't take it. It started taking in water fast. So we got it to the closest shore and were able to lift it up out of the water and onto dry land and dump the water out. We took it to the other side where it looked less calm.
We got about 20 feet away from the shore when we realized the thing underneath that makes it possible to go anywhere was broken (or having problems) due to the fact that it had been mangled in our attempt to get it to shore. Nevertheless, we tried to peddle. We even switched back to having the girls peddle the boat because we were better. But this time, tragedy struck. The boat started sinking. All four of us weren't going to make it out not soaking wet. I was the only one who said we needed to do something so I jumped out and tried to push/pull/paddle the boat to the closest shore. Sam got out and tried helping. We tried in earnest for about a good 40 minutes to an hour. Finally, helped arrived in the form of two separate strangers. One group took the boat, Jimmy and Nicole and towed them to the shore. The second group of people told me and Sam to swim to their boat and they'd take us to shore. I was dead tired.
On the car ride home, the boys asked if we wanted to go to dinner and a movie. I opted out. I was in soaking wet clothes that were wet from Utah Lake water. Gross. I was still cold for hours after I got home. Brrr. I know that one day I'll be able to look back at these dates (memories) and laugh, but  for now I'm thinking, ugh. I should probably just stick to dinner and a movie type of dates where nothing can go wrong.

And if you know me, you know I always bring my camera everywhere. Even on disaster dates. So my lovelies, enjoy.

Break.

I've decided to take a hiatus from dating. I seem to say that a lot. Accept this time last year I was loving my dating life. Currently, I'm wondering what it is about me that attracts the strangest ones? Because I need to change that asap. I'm just going to recap my last two dates to prove that I shouldn't be in the dating world.

Enter Jonny. A nice returned missionary. He served his mission with my twin, Sarah. He added me on FB because he's friends with Sar and wrote me the cutest email a boy has sent me in a long time. I agreed to go on a date with him in Park City a few Saturdays a go. Jonny text me and asked if I'd want to go camping with him and his friends the night before PC and that I could bring a friend with me if I wanted. I agreed, I brought Ashton. Jonny comes to Logan and picks me and Ashton up. Then tells us that to get to the camp site it's a 4 mile hike to get there. At this point, we're still game. So we put all of Ashton's things from her duffle bag into one of my school backpacks and decide to leave. On our way there he says he wants to go long boarding first. So we long board for about twenty minutes. We FINALLY hit the road up to Tony's Grove around 5:30ish. We reach our destination where we'll leave the car for the night and putting on our back packs when Jonny proclaims that he forgot the food and water. How do you forget food and water? I'm physically active, so I'm thinking it's going to be okay we'll get to the camp and have his friends' food. No big deal, right? Wrong. When we finally get to camp (it was literally a 3 mile up hill hike with the last mile plummeting down), Jonny can't find his friends he was planning on meeting up with. Ashton and I asked on how he was planning on finding them and he said he was just going to yell for them around the lake. So we yelled. We found them just as we had about ten minutes left of day light. Just enough time to put up our tent in the dark and with no stakes to hold it down. We used rocks that we had to dig up instead. The other part of the group had started a fire and were making dinner. They were all happy and laughing and eating. Ashton and I were sitting on the log watching them enjoy their dinner. Finally, a parent who was there asked if we were going to cook our food at all. Ashton says, no because Jonny forgot our food and water. So the old man gave us a peanut butter cracker and said we could have a hot dog. My mouth was so dry I could barely swallow the crackers. We ate the hot dog, no bun, and then someone so graciously let us have the remainder of their chili.While we're sitting there, Jonny asks if we're still going to PC tomorrow. I said no; I had to go to a bridal party. We finally go to bed. The next morning Jonny throws his jacket at me to wake me up. We make the treacherous up hill mile back. That mile was brutal. We knew the three miles after that would be a piece of cake. Once we're at the car we get in and I fall asleep. He drops us off and I say goodbye. Don't talk to him again.

Date two: Tanner. Group date. Or so I thought. Apparently he didn't get the message. We get there. Sit around for a good two hours and watch YouTube videos, sing to the guitar, then decide to go to dinner at 9:30. We go to Chili's where we meet up with Tanner's date. HAHA. Did this really just happen to me? I'm now the seventh wheel. Perfect. Oh, and I pay for myself. After dinner everyone goes back to their house and Tanner promptly goes to bed. I get to sit there and do nothing while the other two girls make lovey eyes at their dates. Plus, we drove down from Logan to Cottonwood Heights so I was kind of stuck.

I keep having these awful dating experiences and I don't know why. I think I'm nice. I think I'm funny. I think I'm semi-attractive. I shower and stuff and put makeup on. So until I figure out what's going on, I'm taking myself out of the game.