September 30, 2014

// Last (Wo)Man Standing //

This last weekend, my little sister got married. I am so happy for her. The guy she married is the bomb diggity and the wedding was awesome. Despite the torrential downpour of rain, everything was beautiful and couldn't have been more perfect. My mum made a traditional English fruitcake, organized for a Scottish bagpiper to come and play some songs, and also pinned Bridget with our family tartan. After visiting England and Scotland (find that trip here) last year, it was really special to us to honor our heritage.  

Here are some pictures from the wedding snapped on my iPhone and a couple from my camera. 

 (from wedding dinner the night before)

(the funniest sisters that ever lived) 

(these babes waiting for the couple to come outside) 

(anth and bridge walking outside)

(cutest naked cake ever)

(Scottish bagpipes)

(always the bridesmaid, never the bride) 

(Bridget and her bridesmaids)

Now that Bridget is married, that means I'm the last one to find "the one" in my family. Yikes. At the reception, I got a lot of "you're next" comments. And while that is true, it won't be happening next year. (You're welcome Mom and Dad for not having pay for three weddings in three years.)  I still can't seem to get to the second date part of dating. 

Last month I went on what I thought was an awesome date. I got set up by a friend and am super thankful for having gone on a date that actually went well! Conversation was great, food was great, and the guy was cute. He seemed to be having a good time too. So after the date I sent him a PDT (post date text) to tell him thanks for the great time and we should do it again sometime. I thought that was a good enough indicator that I wanted to go out again. I consulted with one of my guy friends about the date and he said if I hadn't heard from him by a specific date that same week, I should text him and ask about a project he was working on. So, by the date I was given I hadn't heard from him, so I text the guy. I asked about the project. The guy responded and asked me questions and the conversation was totally normal and fine. Again, his response to the text messages seemed like he was interested. Even with all the right indicators of him being interested, I still didn't hear from him again. I kind of felt bummed about it for awhile. But then I thought, you know what? At least I know that I can still go on fun dates! And that I can still have chemistry with someone. So I'm ready for another date with someone. If it leads somewhere, great! If it doesn't, that's fine too.

While I am the last Buckner to get married, I'm just going to take my sweet time. It stresses me out from time to time, I'm not going to let it get me down. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I'd rather be happily single than miserably married. My sister Bridget found someone who loves her to death, Sarah found someone who makes her happy, and Nick found someone perfect for him. The odds that I'll find someone are in my favor. So until then, I'll keep you all updated with the fun, the weird, and the disastrous dates I go on. 

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August 8, 2014

Crazy Cat Lady in the Making

In the fast paced world of the 21st century, online dating seems to be solution. People don't meet others the old school way. Girls don't lock eyes with a cute guy in class who then asks for your name. People don't meet at parties and laugh awkwardly around the punch bowl. Instead, everyone is glued to a phone, checking IG, updating Facebook status', or tweeting.  So how do people meet others today?  Online. But therein lies the problem.

Online seems to be the way to go. It's so simple to "meet" someone with the same likes and interests. All it takes is paying some money, answering a few simple questions,  and waiting for a result: meeting somebody. I am the first to admit it. I'm on a few of these sites myself.  As I am the last in my family to meet "the One". I'm the one standing alone in family pictures. I hear the clock ticking and the count down is on.

"Hi, I'm liz. I like working out and eating Mexican food."

Is that really all someone online needs to know about me? No. There is much more to me than liking Mexican food. Humans are much more complex than what they are online. We get to hide behind a facade, an ideal image of ourself that we like to project in the hope of reeling someone in.  If my time on dating websites has taught me anything, it has taught me that not everyone is who he appears to be online. 

I have come up with five non negotiables as a result of my experience with online dating. It makes weeding out the creepy scumbags easier and narrows the search to the real gems.  The reason for the five non negotiable is to make sure that I  stay true to myself and don't give away something of value for something that is convenient. 

My Five Non-Negotiables 

1. Respects me/his parents. In my own experience I've learned that how a man treats his family is probably how he is going to treat me. If he respects his parents, he will respect me. The relationship he has with his parents/family is an insight into how I can expect my relationship to be. I want to be in a loving, respectful relationship. It's a no brainer, right?

2. Spiritual, but not crazy (like someone who tells me he's received a revelation and we're going to Colorado City to start a new colony.)  The kind of spirituality I want is someone who shows that he is serious about his religion and his relationship with God.  I'm LDS, so I want someone who honors his priesthood and not just on Sundays. I  need someone who will be able to lead and be an example to our children. But it has to be balanced. Yes, he might be a worthy priesthood holder, but if he sits around all day and only read scriptures... well... we're gonna have a long talk. This leads me into my next non negotiable.
3. Hard working/ambitious. I need a man who will be able to provide for me and future family. I am totally for both of us working, but if I'm the only one working while my husband plays video games in the basement of his mom's house and can't hold down a job, we're going to have a problem. We live in a world where too many guys seem to be still in their teens. They don't have any ambition or focus. They have been coddled to the point where working a hard job is something they just don't do. My parents have taught me the importance of having a job. To pay bills. I don't need to marry a doctor or a lawyer. Status doesn't mean anything to me. What matters to me is having a job, getting up and going to work, and being committed to making it work. 
4. Honesty. Yeah, it seems simple. But if a guy is willing to tell a small lie, it's an indicator that he is  more likely to lie about something bigger. Honesty is sometimes hard to hear, but I'd much rather hear the truth than lied to. The truth always comes out in the end.
5. Sense of humor. I need someone who can laugh. Even during hard times. Life is not always roses and butterflies and it's nice to have someone to help see the light at the end of the tunnel when life gets rough. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to marry the class clown, but someone who can keep me laughing will have my heart. 

Online dating has proved to me the importance of friendship. Love can't be forced.  Love forms over time.  A few common interests won't make a marriage work.   What goes in is what goes out. What I want is to meet someone the old fashioned way. But until that happens, I'll keep keepin' on. Trying my luck on the inter web but never giving up on my non-negotiables. If I can't have all of those, then one day I'll have a nice house and a few cats. 

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July 2, 2014

// According to IG //

My life according to IG in the month of June has been fun! I cut off 8 inches of hair. Gave Sarah an awesome baby shower. Caught up with old friends over lunch. Attended a wedding. Spent time with my awesome cousin. Got to hang out with my nephew several times. ANNND my sister got engaged to a pretty cool dude. Not pictured: Seven Peaks and a night of fireworks. 

Not only has June been a busy social month, I've also been working my butt off at work. Sleep has been an unknown thing to me. So I had the last 4 days off in a row and I spent them all sleeping in and being lazy around the house. It was wonderful!  

This weekend I'm going on a date. It's a semi blind date because I had a friend say, this is Tom (I changed the name to keep it annonymous) and I want to set you up. Tell me if you think he is cute! So I said yes to the date, although I can't tell from his pictures if he's cute or not... Guess I'll find out on Saturday. I will update my fans later next week on how it goes. 
In the mean time, have an amazing time celebrating 'Murica! Don't blow up houses or burn anything down. You know what? Maybe just stay inside where it's safe. 
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May 30, 2014

// Viva Italia //

So when I'm not complaining about my lack of a love life, I'm traveling the world. And if I'm not traveling the world, you can find me at work. Or in my bed. Yeah, you're most likely to find me in those two options.

This summer the winds changed and took me to a place that dreams are made of. And if you're anything like me I dream of food, amazing sunsets, ancient buildings, a culture a completely different of mine. The amazing thing is that we can actually experience those things. You get online and buy a ticket to a destination of your dreams, plan what you want to do while you're then and then one short 8-15 hour plane ride later, you're there. The whole flying business to wherever you want is kind of magical in a way. I mean, I can drive 10 hours and only be in Washington at the end of the drive. Not that I don't love the people who are waiting for me at the end of the 10 hour drive in Washington. :) It's just a whole different experience getting on a plane, flying over different countries to get to one specific destination.

Fifteen hours of sitting seems long, especially if you're trapped next to the drunk guy oblivious that you're sharing a very cramped space. But man, when you get off the plane and breathe air that isn't your air, it's totally worth it. After landing, rent a car (and get a GPS) and you'll be off to places you've only read about. 

Italy is everything and nothing you can imagine. It was amazing. It was breathtaking. I fell in love with Italy. And while I wish I could tell you every detail of the trip, I'm going to tell you three important things you need to know:

1. Italian pizza is good everywhere. Like, everywhere.
2. Gelato is a great breakfast option.
3. Italy is for lovers.

There are the couples who can't seem to unglue themselves from each other and it's not vulgar, it's endearing. People are in love and they don't care who knows it. When I see PDA here, it grosses me out. In Italy, it's amore! Just like when the moon hits your eye, like a big piece of pie. Speaking of pizza.... It's everywhere. It's available at ALL hours of the day. Gelato is another thing available at all hours of the day. Maybe you're not supposed to have pizza or gelato at 9am, but why do they even sell it at that hour then? The answer is you're actually supposed to eat it at that time.

I could never do our trip any justice with just words, so here is a video made by my sister of our trip. Enjoy it. And then go book your trip to some dream destination! 

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May 21, 2014

// Plot Twist //

Want to know the easiest way to make a 25 year old woman cry? Ask her on a date and then stand her up. Or maybe that's just the easiest way to make me cry. 

I haven't been on a date since January. I blamed it on my lack of time due to school and work. But who am I kidding? I secretly hope and pray that Mr. Wonderful walks in to my life and carries me off into the sunset and we live happily ever after. 

Instead, I'm 25 and still living at home with my parents. Not that my parents are bad roommates. In fact, they're perfect roommates! They buy all the food, fill my car up with gas, let me live there rent free. My life is pretty cushy and I totally get that. But I know there has got to be something more to life than living in the basement. (Please tell me I'm right.)

So when my younger sister started dating again after a recent-ish breakup, I decided I should take the plunge into the online dating world. The whole "Hi, my name is Liz. The six things I couldn't live without are my phone, books, a toothbrush... As I can't think of anymore," thing sure gets old. What gets even more annoying are the influx of messages saying "you're a babe. How do you feel about a casual hookup?" How about I just delete you. So I suffer through mostly losers and when I finally find someone who can hold an intelligent conversation, I can't help but think that this might actually workout! A guy who can woo me with words, oh be still my heart. Okay, you actually will have to do more than that but I definitely love playful verbal banter. 

I am very selective when talking to people on the internet. I mean. It's the freakin' internet for heavens sake. So I started messaging a few guys and the conversations were great. The only bad thing is, I was about to leave for Italy in a few days and was working basically everyday until I left. But I did have the night before my flight left free and thought, why the heck not? So I told one guy that we could go out Tuesday night. He agreed. I messaged him Tuesday morning because he still hadn't contacted me since setting up our date. I asked him what the plan was. He told me he'd pick me up at 8pm and that we'd get cafe rio. (Mexican food is another key to my heart.) 

So I packed my clothes for my trip, ran errands and got ready for my date. And not to toot my own horn, but toot toot. I looked cute! I sat in my living room for an hour. Waiting. A message to say hey, I'm running late. Anything. Instead I got radio silence. I called my brother and sister in law for advice. Because what else are brothers for? Basically they confirmed my suspicions that I was being stood up. 

I went to my room and changed into my jammies. And started to cry. The thing is, it wasn't really about him. It was about dating in general. I have the worst luck with guys. My brother texted me and said men are dogs (parks and rec reference). He tried to cheer me up with pictures of my nephew. He told me, this guy wasn't worth crying over. My mom came into my room to console me. Yeah, I might have been over reacting but when your dating life is the constant part of a movie about the bad dates someone goes on before they meet Prince Charming, you'd cry too. 

My friends tell me that it'll happen when I least expect it. I'm calling BS. Finding someone happens to the people who are proactive about it. So, that's what I'm doing. Or trying to do. I want "it" to happen to me. I want to find someone I love and to spend my Saturday nights with. I want to go on double dates with my friends and not be the third wheel. 

So yeah, being stood up totally sucks. And I know one day I'll be able to laugh about all these crazy experiences. I know Mr. Wonderful will get here eventually and that he's takin' his sweet time. But more importantly, I know I'm not going to give up on this dating business. The plot twist in my life one day will be Liz finally gets the guy!

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April 10, 2014

// Ketch-Up //

Folks, it's been awhile and so much has happened.

First, our family got a special addition in February. Prince William Theodore Buckner was born on February 15, 2014. My Dad and I were able to drive up to Washington and see him the day he was born. I got to hear him cry outside the room when he was born. Wow. My sister Allison was in labor for 36 hours. She is a champ! She gave birth to the most perfect baby ever born. I love him so much and our family has been so blessed with him in our lives.

They have the most perfect little family. 

Next thing that happened, is that I found out I'm going to be an Aunt to another little baby! This time it's a precious little baby girl! My twin sister Sarah is pregnant and due it August. I am so excited for her and can't wait to meet that cute little girl. 

I love all these new changes that are happening in my family. It's so much fun to have these little babies to love and spoil for the rest of my life. We love being able to FaceTime with William and listen to his cute noises and see his facial expressions. 

Life is good and fun. At the rate things have been changing around the Buckner house, I'm excited to see what is in store for me for the rest of the year. :) 

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January 26, 2014

// sparklers //

We've all seen He's Just Not That Into You and maybe some of us have read the actual book (I have). There's that scene where Gigi is in the bar with Alex and they start talking about a "spark" between two people. 

Gigi: Maybe there's not. You need a spark.
Alex: No, the "spark" thing is shit.
Gigi: Really?
Alex: Bull shit.
Gigi: Enlighten me.
Alex: Guys invented the "spark" so that they could not call, and treat you kind of bad, and keep you guessing, and they convince you that that anxiety and that fear that they're throwing at you is actually, just a "spark". And you guys all buy it. You eat it up. And you love it. You love it because you feed off that drama. You all love that drama.
Gigi: I don't.
Alex: Oh really? So you never wait until the last minute on a deadline or phone bill because secretly you kind of love the drama of not knowing whether or not you're going to make it?
Gigi: Maybe?
Alex: And let me guess. When you were stalking Conor the other night, were you obsessing about him calling, constantly pacing back and forth and staring at your phone for days even though the date was just kind of mediocre? 
Gigi: Ha. Okay, yeah?
Alex: Because you all thrive on the drama! But you've got to be more like me. If a girl likes me, great. But if not, there are plenty more out there like her. Probably one with smaller pores and bigger implants. 

It's a great scene. It makes me think about my own dating life and a "spark" with the guys I date. Do I really believe in it? Am I making up the lack of spark in my head? Maybe it doesn't happen straight from the get go. Maybe it's something that happens later on...

But then I think about guys I have had a "spark" with guys before, so I know it's possible! I've been on first dates where I think, wow this is fun! The conversation is great, the guy is great, he's totally into me and I'm diggin' him. So let's do this thing!  

I think the "spark" is a combination of a few things that seem to be lacking in some people I've gone out with and I've narrowed it down. 
Attraction (looks- I know, I might be shallow but you can't deny it either)
Things you have in common

I know, it seems like a small list of things to "hit it off" with someone, but if you take out some of those factors it's probably someone you're just gonna friend zone after the date anyway. If you don't like their personality, you're probably going to butt heads at some point. If you're not attracted to the person... it's going to go nowhere. If you don't have anything in common, how are you ever going to agree on anything? I'm not saying that you have to have everything in common, because that would be boring. There has to be a little diversity and someone who can introduce you to new hobbies. But a common base helps. Lastly, if you can't talk to the person, you're definitely going to have problems... because lets get real, you won't be able to communicate. 

So when I go on a date and feel just "meh" about it, I'm not going to thrive on the drama of him waiting to call me and ask me out. I should and will, take my own advice about the "spark" and put my best foot forward and get out there and go on some more awkward first dates until I find Mr. Awesomely Wonderful. 

What do you all think? Is the spark a real thing? 

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