May 14, 2013

//Mind Altering//

You know what is cool? An accent. I love them! People who come here from different countries and are able to retain their accent is super awesome. Do you know what isn't cool? Pretending that you're from a different country, putting on an accent and then letting the person know half way through a date that you aren't really from there...

Last night I went on a date with a guy who told me he was from Scotland. I'd heard him on the phone and his accent sounded legit. We decided to "meet up- which according to him is exactly one hour. I met him at Jamba Juice at 7:45. We ordered our drinks, he talked in his Scottish accent. Talked to me about his family overseas which sounded legit. I was doing all the talking. Meaning, I asked allt he questions and he answered. I asked about his scar on his arm; he didn't want to talk about it. The past is the past and I believe in leaving it there." That's true, I believe that too. But then he told me about how he got the scar... Running away from a police dog who was chaising him, jumped the fence, broke it in half, had to walk a mile and a half to a hospital because his own car was near where the policemen were. Awesome. Then I asked where he lived now and he told me and I said I had lived in Provo once (Raintree Apartments to be exact) and that I loved it, he said he felt sorry for me because it was BYU approved housing. I asked what he meant by that, and he said because of the rule and rules are meant to be broken. We had already talked baout his mission at this point in the conversation and I said, oh the mission must have been fun for you then. He said he didn't want to get into it. So, we didn't.

At this point, he started checking his phone and let me know that we had 20 minutes left in our meet up. He then told me he had something mind altering to tell me. I had no idea what it was going to be because what was so mind altering to let me know on a first meet up? Well, it was that he really wasn't from Scotland. That he just likes to do the accent because he's good at it. So, basically everything we had talked about was a BIG. Fat. Lie. Who does that? Other highlights of things I learned are the following:

  • Girls are awful with money
  • Dads baby their daughters
  • I come from money
  • I was in the popular group in highschool
  • (The last two he said he could tell by my body language)
  • That I can chew a piece of gum for a long time

Yes, this date was mind altering. It solidified the fact that dating really sucks about 90% of the time. And man, I can't wait to find someone who is normal.


  1. Liz, this made me laugh!!! Sorry that you had to go through it but what a creepy guy and a WASTE of your time. You can't get that hour back. Hopefully the next one will be worth your time and help you restore your faith that there are sane people out there!

  2. I died when I read this. Bless you for lasting the whole hour!

  3. hahah Oh Lu you are hilarious. I love you.

  4. WOW! What a jerk! My mouth is still agape... I just can't believe someone would do such a thing. Bless you for staying the whole hour and bless you for knowing you deserve WWAAAAYYYy better than that.


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